STRESS!!!

Man I tell you what, this has been one hell of a few monthes. You know i'm not racest or anything but I have to throw this out there. Black people talk about how they dont have equality but yet they get all these benefits like medical insurance, foodstamps and welfare like its nothing. I'm white and i cant hardly get shit. Its way harder for me as a white girl to get anything literally. I think its great that black people can get assistance and stuff but damn why cant i? Its just not fair. It has taken me three monthes to get foodstamps and medicaid and I actually really need it. Its crazy how the system works. But atleast now i'm able to get my health issues taken care of. I have had some really bad throat problems. My tonsels have lumps on them and have been seriously swollen and not to mention the bumps on the back of my throat. I went to the hospital finally last night and sat for 5 hours cuz i couldnt hardly swollow and it was hurting so bad. Come to find out I just had a severe case of sinusitus and they gave me an antibiotic YAY! Now hopefully it will all go away. Now I just have to get my stomach issues taken care of and I'll be good to go.

decisions....decisions

Well I've decided to wait and not move in with my boyfriend. Hes not to happy about it and i cant say i blame him. Considering I just sudden;y changed my mind. I'm sure he'll get over it though. I just dont see the point in rushing to move in when we've only been back together for like 4 monthes. I think its best to take our time and not move so fast. I've seen to many friends move way to fast with a relationship in the past and it just screwed things up. I've done it in the past and it had nothing but a negative result. If he really wants to be with me then he can wait to have a place with me. But on a lighter note my job has been goinb pretty good except for the fact I dont get as many hours as i would like. Hopefully that will all change soon though. I just know that 20 hours a week isnt enough for me thats for sure. I'm trying to decide if i want to stay at the store i'm at or transfer. I like the people i'm working with but the hours are just messed up and from what i've heard the store that i'm at is pretty stingy when it comes to getting raises. I guess we will see.

Chris Brown assault

Have any of you heard about what happened the night before the oscars between Chris Brown and Rihanna? Well they were in their car argueing and he got a little to heated and assaulted her. She ended up with a bloody nose, Busted lip, and facial bruising. C'mon now thats just messed up. How can you hit a woman and knowing its wrong? I was a big fan of Chris Brown, but after he did that I just lost total respect for him. And man did you hear what some people were actually saying? There were actually people blaming everyting on Rihanna like its all her fault. They were saying that she possibly pravoked him. Well It doesnt matter what she said or did, its still no excuse for hitting a woman! I guess it doesnt matter blame who you want because hes still getting charged for domestic violence, and hes still losing his endorsements. They just took his music off the radio and the commercial advertisements that he did off tv. Thats what you get for being a wife beater. Well I cant be to judgemental because afterall its not my place and certainly not my relationship. I just hope he learned his lesson and doesnt do it again. Maybe anger management would do him some good.

The Bachelor

I was watching the view this morning and they were talking about one of the silliest shows on tv, the bachelor. To me that show is just redicolous. They showed a clip of the show where several of the women would be on a private date with him, and they were starting to tell him how they were falling in love with him and confessing their love for him. When they would start that crap he would just start to kiss them so he didnt have to reply back to them. How crazy is that lol. I just think that this is one of the stupid reality shows. These girls aren't sane or very smart. How do you expect to get picked if your telling the dude that your in love with him when you just met him a week ago and have only really talked to him maybe 2 to 4 times lol. Either these girls have issues or they are on the show just to get air time on tv. It just seems so0o fake at times to. I dont think I could ever bring myself to even try to get on a show like that, and if I were ever stupid enough to go on that show i doubt i would be falling in love with anybody after 5 seconds lol. I dont know, it just seems to be a waist of tv space but thats just my opinion.

Michael Phelps!

As you all know, Michael Phelps got caught smoking a lil gaunja. Oh my goodness the world is going to end cuz the famous Phelps actually relaxed and smoked a lil green on his own time haha. Come on everybody give the boy a break and stop dissing him. I mean do you know how many people in america smoke pot? There are people in other sports who smoke and people in the medical field who smoke. And I cant count how many celebrities who have come out and are open about smoking. Theres a magazine cover that Jonny Depp did with him on the cover smoking. And Heath ledger was an open pot smoker to. I dont see you dissing him to. Its rediculous. I know i havent met one person in the past year that didnt smoke and that includes successful people who make the big bucks. Not naming any names cuz i sure wouldnt want them to burn for it so to speak. All i'm saying is Michael Phelps works his ass off year round and goes to the olympics and wins a bunch of gold medals and breaks a lot of records. I think he deserves a little bit of time to himself to do what he wants. It could always be worse. Atleast he wasnt doin crack or cocaine or something to that effect. Its pretty messed up that somebody even took that pic and showed it to anybody. Now granite, he should have been more careful about who was around him and who had a camera. Let the boy have some privacy. People can be so0o greedy. I wonder how much he got paid for that pic anyway? Anywho i'll wrap this up and just say, I still love you Michael Phelps, you the shit and so what if you smoked a lil gaunja. We all do at one point in our life for the most part. ROCK ON!

Finally I found a job!!!

So I have been looking for a job for quite some time now and havent had any luck. Well my good friend Marybeth talked me into going up to her work and filling out an application. I filled it out thinking i would have no luck becauseI have applied there before. Well I guess I was wrong afterall. I lucked out and got a callback from them but from another location. I went in for my first interview the other day and did my drug screening. Everything went well and I went back for another interview today and I got the job hehe. Now all i'm waiting for is my employee number so I can start training, YAY ME hehe! Its not the best or the worst job in the world but its a job for now and thats all that matters. I'm goin to be able to do more things now that i'm working again. Thats so0o much better than babysitting all the time for close to no money. Looks like me and my girl will be going on our beach trip this summer afterall.

A New Behinning!!!

Today was the inauguration of president elect Obama. Today is the beginning of a new day. We have officially made history. Its great to know that we have made such an improvement in america, and we are so much closer to racial equality. It was crazy awesome how many people showed up in the mall area for the inauguration. In 2005 there was 400,000. Today in 2009 there were an estimated amount of 1,400,000 people there. And they have over 7,000 troops there also. There haveing the parade right now and the streets are covered in thousands of excited fans. They said that the limos are only going 2 1/2 miles an hour. All i know is somebody is going to have to use the bathroom by the time the parade ends lol. Before the parade there was the luncheon they had. During the luncheon something scary happened. Senater Ted Kenedy was there and had a seizure. They ended up having to transport him to the hospital. They also announced today that Ted Kenedy was battleing a brain tumor. Its just amazing that he even made it to the luncheon. Hes a fighter thats for sure! Congratulations to our new president, Obama! And our prayers go out to Ted Kenedy!

Today is a new day!!!

Job Market...what the hell!

Ok so0o I have to voice my frustraition with the economy. I dont know about you but its getting really old. Used to I never had a problem keeping atleast some money in my pockets so i could breathe, but now I cant even find a job. Its very irritating. I would love to havbe ajob right now, but I honestly cant think of anywhere that would be hiring. Not to mention the people that do have jobs are having a hard time keeping them. I was working as a hostess in Smokey Bones and eventually me and the manager got into it about me not getting any hours in and him screwing with my schedule. It seems to be happening to everyone. I've been doin lil odd jobs here and there from time to time. Like babysitting and keeping my parents house clean, not to mention the holiday money that i got. I want a real job damnit. I have been planning to go to florida for 3 nights in may, and as you all know its best to book a room by the end of february so the rates are affordable and theres actually a room available. So I am determined to get my break one way or another. Hopefully there will be a turn around in the job market really soon, cuz I dont know how much more I can take of this stupidly horrible economy!

Obama

I heard the funniest thing on several talk shows. Everybody has been talking about it lately. Obama is getting a one of a kind limo, especially made for Obama. Ok so0o your talking about saving money and helping the poor but yet theres being tons of money spent on a limo you dont really need thats just for you. Whats wrong with the limo that the whitehouse has now? I find it hilarious that all this money is being spent on limos, private jets, and wardrobe just for one person, and yet that money could be goin to more important things. Lets see like oh I dont kno....the charities that need it, or to businesses, or people who need jobs or health insurance. Well now you see what your tax payers money is goin to.....limos, private jets, personal wardrobes, lazy ghetto people in the projects and more. As if this country isnt broke enough as it is. Lets just hope that the money will be put to good use very soon!

DO YOU EVER JUST FEEL.....

Do you ever feel like your life has no meaning at all, like its not going anywhere or getting better or worse? Do you ever feel like you will never amount to anything or never figure out what exactly you want to be in life. Well I do, I have felt like that for a while. My life makes no since and has no certain direction. I know what I like to do or what makes me happy, but I always find myself doing the exact opposite. You know the expression, everybody was put on this earth for a reason? Well I beleive its true i just wish I knew what I was here for. I know life would make more since and probably be much better. It seems that nowadays people have the hardest times figuring out what they want to do for the rest of their lives or who they should be with. You just kinda get confused and twisted. Have you ever just felt like nothing goes right, like you have no luck or direction? Like everything just seems so0o difficult, and the smallest things seem the hardest? For example....getting your G.E.D. i can pass everything on that test but the math. Heres another example, you care about somebody more than anything and you feel like you should be with them but everybody around seems to think otherwise, like they know best or something so it makes it hard to decide wheather to stay with them or not. I know life is suppose to get better and your suppose to find your calling and your true meaning of what your life is about. But where to start, that is the